I Had to Let Go of the Person Who Made Me Successful
October 7, 2026
In 2012, I killed a woman on a high school track in Atlanta. It took me eight months to understand why I had to let her go.
In this first solo episode of The Conditioning Room, I tell you who that woman was. She was the little girl who forgot her own name on a pageant stage and promised herself she would never be unprepared again. Being ready got me into rooms I never imagined. It also cost me more than I knew.
I share the stories behind the Core 4 of Athleadership: Agility, Resilience, Alignment and Well-Being. There's the 38 hours we had to turn our biggest summit virtual when the world shut down, a loss that divided my life into before and after, and the first book signing where I sold one copy.
Under pressure, we don't rise to what we know. We fall to what we've conditioned.
This episode ends with your first rep. Before you listen, think of one situation you'll face in the next seven days.
What is the one rep you need to begin conditioning?
Get the book: athleadershipmovement.com
Have you ever known exactly what to do as a leader, and then watched yourself do the opposite the moment the pressure hit?
I have. And after twenty years in the private rooms before some very public moments, sitting with executives, professional athletes and building enterprise talent globally, I can tell you it almost never comes down to what someone knows. It comes down to what they've practiced. That's what this first episode of The Conditioning Room is about: how to lead under pressure and perform when it counts.
This episode is for you if you:
• Know what good leadership looks like, but can't always reach it when it matters
• Have built your success on always being prepared, and are starting to feel what that costs
• Carry a lot of weight and rarely get a place to put it down
• Are leading a team through change and want them steady when it gets hard
• Are wondering whether what got you here is what will get you to your next level
What you'll walk away with:
• Why pressure can lock away even the things you know best
• The difference between being ready and trying to control the moment
• The Core 4, the four capacities every pressure moment will test
• How to treat failure the way athletes do, as feedback that raises your ceiling
• Why, in the age of AI, your edge isn't what you know anymore
• Your first rep, one simple commitment to practice this week
The pressure may not get lighter. But you don't ever have to meet yourself in the room for the first time.
Chapters:
00:00 Welcome to The Conditioning Room
02:05 The Moment Before the Moment
03:20 The Woman I Had to Kill
04:30 Forgetting My Name on Stage
07:05 Meeting Myself on the Track
10:20 Readiness vs. Control
11:10 Response or Reaction?
12:30 Why Sport Is the Ultimate Pressure Test
14:00 What Happens in Your Brain Under Pressure
16:50 The Surgery That Birthed Athleadership
19:20 The Highest-Paid Cornerback's Post-It
21:15 Leaders Aren't Born, They're Built
22:20 Knowledge Isn't the Differentiator in the AI Era
23:15 Think, Feel, Decide, Perform
24:45 Progressive Overload for Leaders
27:45 We Know Better, So Why Don't We Do Better?
29:50 The Core 4: Agility (Cancel or Create)
34:20 The Core 4: Resilience (Lose No Lessons)
37:55 The Core 4: Alignment
40:00 The Core 4: Well-Being
42:20 Calm, Confident, Clutch
43:50 What's Your Pressure Moment?
44:45 Individual Conditioning Becomes Company Capacity
45:45 The Book Signing Where I Sold One Copy
49:30 Your First Rep
51:45 Closing: You Are Built for This Moment
About The Conditioning Room™
Every public performance has a private practice. The Conditioning Room™ with Melissa Dawn Simkins takes you behind the moments that define extraordinary lives to uncover the work, choices and conditioning that made them possible.
From breakthrough victories to unexpected setbacks, Melissa goes beyond the highlight reel with executives, athletes and remarkable people who've lived what it takes to grow, recover and perform when it matters most.
These are honest conversations about what success demands, what failure teaches and how we become who we're capable of being. Every episode brings fresh insights and one practical rep to strengthen how you think, lead and show up in life and work.
Come for the conversation. Leave with a rep.
About Melissa
Melissa Dawn Simkins is the founder of Athleadership®, CEO of Velvet Suite®, and author of Athleadership: The Elite Athletic Mindset. For more than 20 years, she's been a trusted advisor behind the performance of executives, athletes and global brands across 26+ countries, helping people unlock their potential and perform when it matters most.
Her work brings together the elite athletic mindset, neuroscience and business strategy to explore what separates knowing what to do from being conditioned to do it when it counts.
Beyond her work, she's a wife, mom and lifelong student of what it means to become your best.
Get your rep in. I'll see you next time in the room.
Connect with Melissa:
Website: https://melissadawnsimkins.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissadawnsimkins/?isSelfProfile=false
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissadawnsimkins/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MelissaDawnSimkins/
The Conditioning Room newsletter: https://www.linkedin.com/newsletters/beyond-the-c-suite-7161045469668720640/
Get the book, Athleadership: The Elite Athletic Mindset: How to Lead Under Pressure and Perform When It Counts https://melissadawnsimkins.com/movement/
I have. And after twenty years in the private rooms before some very public moments, sitting with executives, professional athletes and building enterprise talent globally, I can tell you it almost never comes down to what someone knows. It comes down to what they've practiced. That's what this first episode of The Conditioning Room is about: how to lead under pressure and perform when it counts.
This episode is for you if you:
• Know what good leadership looks like, but can't always reach it when it matters
• Have built your success on always being prepared, and are starting to feel what that costs
• Carry a lot of weight and rarely get a place to put it down
• Are leading a team through change and want them steady when it gets hard
• Are wondering whether what got you here is what will get you to your next level
What you'll walk away with:
• Why pressure can lock away even the things you know best
• The difference between being ready and trying to control the moment
• The Core 4, the four capacities every pressure moment will test
• How to treat failure the way athletes do, as feedback that raises your ceiling
• Why, in the age of AI, your edge isn't what you know anymore
• Your first rep, one simple commitment to practice this week
The pressure may not get lighter. But you don't ever have to meet yourself in the room for the first time.
Chapters:
00:00 Welcome to The Conditioning Room
02:05 The Moment Before the Moment
03:20 The Woman I Had to Kill
04:30 Forgetting My Name on Stage
07:05 Meeting Myself on the Track
10:20 Readiness vs. Control
11:10 Response or Reaction?
12:30 Why Sport Is the Ultimate Pressure Test
14:00 What Happens in Your Brain Under Pressure
16:50 The Surgery That Birthed Athleadership
19:20 The Highest-Paid Cornerback's Post-It
21:15 Leaders Aren't Born, They're Built
22:20 Knowledge Isn't the Differentiator in the AI Era
23:15 Think, Feel, Decide, Perform
24:45 Progressive Overload for Leaders
27:45 We Know Better, So Why Don't We Do Better?
29:50 The Core 4: Agility (Cancel or Create)
34:20 The Core 4: Resilience (Lose No Lessons)
37:55 The Core 4: Alignment
40:00 The Core 4: Well-Being
42:20 Calm, Confident, Clutch
43:50 What's Your Pressure Moment?
44:45 Individual Conditioning Becomes Company Capacity
45:45 The Book Signing Where I Sold One Copy
49:30 Your First Rep
51:45 Closing: You Are Built for This Moment
About The Conditioning Room™
Every public performance has a private practice. The Conditioning Room™ with Melissa Dawn Simkins takes you behind the moments that define extraordinary lives to uncover the work, choices and conditioning that made them possible.
From breakthrough victories to unexpected setbacks, Melissa goes beyond the highlight reel with executives, athletes and remarkable people who've lived what it takes to grow, recover and perform when it matters most.
These are honest conversations about what success demands, what failure teaches and how we become who we're capable of being. Every episode brings fresh insights and one practical rep to strengthen how you think, lead and show up in life and work.
Come for the conversation. Leave with a rep.
About Melissa
Melissa Dawn Simkins is the founder of Athleadership®, CEO of Velvet Suite®, and author of Athleadership: The Elite Athletic Mindset. For more than 20 years, she's been a trusted advisor behind the performance of executives, athletes and global brands across 26+ countries, helping people unlock their potential and perform when it matters most.
Her work brings together the elite athletic mindset, neuroscience and business strategy to explore what separates knowing what to do from being conditioned to do it when it counts.
Beyond her work, she's a wife, mom and lifelong student of what it means to become your best.
Get your rep in. I'll see you next time in the room.
Connect with Melissa:
Website: https://melissadawnsimkins.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissadawnsimkins/?isSelfProfile=false
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissadawnsimkins/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MelissaDawnSimkins/
The Conditioning Room newsletter: https://www.linkedin.com/newsletters/beyond-the-c-suite-7161045469668720640/
Get the book, Athleadership: The Elite Athletic Mindset: How to Lead Under Pressure and Perform When It Counts https://melissadawnsimkins.com/movement/